Same old same old issues of the PROBLEMS. Be a part of the solution instead of saying well let's discuss. I am disappointed.

WE ARE BEYOND the discussion to the point the black community is up in arms with problems. And the more problems we hear about the more problems that are created. Mainstream media is FEEDING into the drama. Please JUST STOP it!

IF I HEAR ONE MORE STORY OF BEING BLACK, SINGLE, EDUCATED and needing a man, I am going to throw a connpition or have an epileptic seizure.

So, black women need a man to complete us! Hmm..this is the same sob story given to other minorities or even white women but black women are the perpetual target? So we need to be like June Cleaver with a house with a picket fence to be happy? Get over the cinematic drama and WAKE up!

Minor ramble but there is a point to this:

Don't get me started about the feminist movement either because there is a difference between the Civil Right's Movement, the feminist movement and any other movement that used the Civil Right's Movement as a model!

White women feminists and black women feminists are 2 different trains of thought. I thought they walked hand in hand until I was taught by Dr. Pushpa Parekh of Spelman College that there is a difference. Mind you Dr. Parekh is East Indian so I am telling you from the most HONEST and open opinion I can give anyone from what I have been personally been taught.

She had us read this essay by writer/activist Alice Walker (author of the book, The Color Purple) that outlined the difference. The more I read it and understood it then I knew oh my gosh, "no wonder the white feminists don't get me!" Read this excerpt here from: http://science.jrank.org/pages/8159/Womanism.html which defines "womanism" from Alice Walker's perspective, "In Search of Our Mother's Gardens: Womanist Prose".

And, if you want to debate me because of what Rebecca Walker has said about her mom then that is sad because Rebecca Walker has every right to feel the way she does being a mixed race child in a world that can be so cruel. She has a voice to and please don't silence her. Rebecca Walker on her Mom Alice Walker -- Article from NYTimes.com:
Evolution of a Feminist Daughter

Should I have a biased opinion on then everything that Alice Walker says from what her daughter now has revealed about her?

They both have to work out this situation together if they want to but I appreciate Alice Walker defining "womanism" for me and giving me another way to look at myself as a black woman. What Alice Walker does in the privacy of her home is her private life. That goes the same with Rebecca Walker. I pray they will heal but from what I have read it seems that their mother-daughter bond will not be repaired.

[end of my rant on feminism]

Proof here for not only CNN said it but MSNBC, NPR.org, etc.

African-American Women and Where they Stand

African-American Women and Marriage Disparity

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5495033

Oprah addressed the issue but she offered a solution to think outside the box and to do things that we normally do not do such as play golf or think like a man and intermingle with them more on their terms. (if this is what you want)

Thank you for spreading this problem INTERNATIONALLY mainstream media.

This is why I usually don't watch TV. You have LOST me as a consumer. I am tired of the brain washing! Sick sick sick sick of it. Don't continue to say let's talk about it but DO something. Further, our churches need help with this and it should be us all working together to re-brain wash in the correct way for us universally to get along!

Honestly, it is easier it seems to talk than to be a part of the solution! You hiding!? Honestly, are you hiding from trying to be a part of the change? I am trying so hard to educate, help and lend and open an ear but I am overwhelmed with being the nice guy and I need HELP!

So, now the pick up lines some women may get are, "oh, I know you cannot find a good black man but I am a good [insert non-black race here]?" I have actually HAD this said to me so thank you for continuing this ridiculousness.

Provide Solutions for the change:

1. Be opened minded and hire us to do the jobs which have been traditionally held by white men and white women (partner in law firm, opportunities in hospital administration, director of a regional franchise of a blue chip company, etc.)

2. Allow us into your schools (I was denied admission to a prestigious white private school in Washington, DC as a child because I was told I was not mature enough to handle the environment after taking a personality test which was biased. The lady made me upset and because of that she said I was not a good fit for the school)

3. Be willing to TRAIN those who want to be trained to learn a skill, job, etc.

3. Teach our history instead of continuously having us in the dark. There are plenty of white scholars who have given validation to black history (Ex. Ira Berlin, Tim Wise, etc.). I say that because I know that some black scholars are not looked upon as having the *credentials* in sharing our stories. Prime example -Ivan Van Sertima (not everyone can afford or given the opportunity to attend an Ivy League School)

4. Profile black men who are eligible of dating who have issues like any other man of intermingling with the rest of the world.

5. Please be SENSITIVE to interracial dating issues. This is a true taboo situation in the black American community. If people are happy then let them be happy regardless of who they are sincerely attracted to.  Mixed children have a very hard time dealing with the black community or the white community because they are forced to choose a culture and stick with it in America. Why cannot mixed children embrace both cultures (or the multi-cultures they have) instead of being told to have a label? If this is the case then we all should have little boxes checking off everything that may be in us. (You see how ridiculous this gets!)

Though we all need some type of companionship, there are other ways to feel validated so embrace your family, yourself, animals and your environment. Is it harm to love your environment and loving self than to think of having another human to give you that *lost* part you think you have? Guess what, I don't feel *lost* and I don't have a man but my fulfillment is in my work and not in human companionship. I am NOT a super woman nor do I claim to be perfect but my happiness comes in other ways than a man who may give me a headache.

It is a disgrace what some women have gone through in these public divorces (and they are not black, see what I mean!):

Being Blond and Beautiful Really is No Guarantee of Happiness

I so need my books and music to provide that *lost* feeling. If I try to *pour* out my feelings to another human the senseless chatter and insensitivity is something I do not want to deal with anymore.

Power to being reclusive!

**if ONE MORE subject line heading in my email inbox reads, "this is a philosophical discussion on the problem without a resolution in the black community" I AM GOING to BARF!**

It amazes me of the insensitive people in this world. Why would he do this?

Further, this is in my mother's hometown and honestly, I have had some scary experiences down there throughout my life but this is the scariest thing that I have ever read.

Thank you to my friend here in VOX for sharing this with me.

Tells you WHY I don't wear my hair braided. Listen to what the newscaster said.

Makes you wonder why some of us try to assimilate into society or coon or just act like baffoons. Why? Some of us assimilate not to make some people upset. Some people HATE other cultures just because they are different and us minorities dislike the ignorance. Why hate? So ignorant!  Some of us don't hate you but just because I have SPF 50000 as Oprah said (melanin - dark skin) and my hair is kinky you are going to hate! How absurd!

This misguided idiot needs to get a clue why he is torn psychologically. To the dude who ran over the young lady, you are a disgrace to the world and you are a  peon. I hope the Lord gets the demons out of your system. You are beyond lost but in need of spiritual intervention (prescription drugs may help you out too!)

Video - White Man Yells, "All Black People Should Die" Man Mows Down Bicyclist While Screaming Racial Slurs

Please check out  CNN's Black In America Part 2 tonight

I am either going to die:

1. from a heart attack within the next year

2. will be shot point blank just *because*

3. or either I will die an old lady

I am hoping for #3 but I am feeling #1 daily so I am thankful for whatever I have been able to share here

I started shaking uncontrollably when I received this comment.

Honestly, I have no where to turn. Sometimes I want to crawl into a hole.

My post...

Black in America -  CNN Series

I'm not feeling well at all...

Daily on twitter I say something that is off the wall or bizarre but I attempt to drop some knowledge with it.

I have always been talking *smack* (smack means talking trash) about squirting people with a water gun but today I decided to share a video I found on Lonnie Johnson who is an African American inventor and scientist. Thank you to kguy70 on youtube for the video! I had first read about Lonnie Johnson in Ebony Magazine and then on Cnn.com and now I am thankful for the youtube video.

I did not know in college when I had my super soakers that a person who looked like me invented my favorite toy!

Something to embrace, learn and share the knowledge with!

Thank you to Black Inventor Online Museum for this great profile on Lonnie Johnson.

Thank you to My Black America  for sharing this news story with me:

Jamaica Gleaner News - Jamaica files slavery lawsuit against bank

It reminds me of what Deadira Farmer Paelleman's life mission which she has said on her myspace blurb here:

   "When I learned that trillion dollar corporations built their wealth off slavery, I had to do something about it. I initiated the Corporate Restitution Movement in 2000 demanding that the companies give back some of what they stole from enslaved people. Some companies have given back a total of $20 million. But they owe much more, and far more is needed. My goal is to create a trust fund to finance affordable housing, educational opportunities, economic development opportunities, and improved health care for slave descendants. Since 2000, I have been working full time without any pay doing this advocacy -- God has blessed me making this possible, so I'm just passing on the blessings." - from Deadria Farmer Paelleman's myspace page

Tonight please tune in to view the CNN Series, Black in America which examines what is life like for some people of African descent to live in America. I attempt to share what I can through this blog (and my others too)  but I am curious to see how CNN will examine this complex issue.

Washingtonpost.com article today from July 23, 2008 by Tom Shales

CNN's 'Black In America' Is An Expressive Portrait

Ordinary Stories Make An Extraordinary Series

Let's just get this straight..

I am beyond tired but EXHAUSTED of *trying* to be civil with people in explaining kinky hair issues.

I have come to the conclusion that non kinky haired people will continue to ooh and ahh but then talk SMACK behind kinky haired people's backs because they do not understand kinky hair culture.

If you are so curious then why don't you educate yourself as to what kinky haired people go through.

Do you understand the plight of the daily struggles we go through with the stares of the OOHS of why did she do that to her hair? This is what I sometimes deal with in my hair world. Hi, your hair is: [insert insult here]. I've been called a variety of things from black barbie doll to a delusional individual when I twisted my hair.

My own neighbor here in New York City put her hand in my hair not believing it was my hair. She thought I had a weave and she was shocked this is my hair.

Same thing happened when I was in the 6th grade. Kid could not believe that kinky hair could grow and he grabbed my head and pulled out a string of my hair. That hurt so bad and I will NEVER forget him doing that. But at that point I had a weave because my hair dresser F*ed up my hair using chemicals so that young kid did have some Korean nylon in his hands. However, when my own hair grew out people assumed I had a weave. NOT true! Kinky hair grows!

Please check out this video on Black American - Black Hair:

CNN Video - Black Hair

Here is some knowledge on kinky hair care:

http://cornrowsandco.com/company.cfm?companyID=2

Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America

Ayana Byrd

There are plenty of blogs and websites on black hair issues but I found my best information by going to my various hair stylists who helped me learn how to manage my hair if I either wear it natural or if I have it chemically done.

Unfortunately, I had to cut and press (press = straighten my hair) my hair for an interview after I had been been wearing my hair natural for 8 years but I knew that this company I was dealing with was in a time warp for these were older white men who had made some comments to me about black women's hair essentially letting me know they did not like the braids, twists or locks but straight hair. I wanted to put a bag over my head after they said that for I wondered how they felt about me and my straight hair which was mine but I did not like wearing my hair straight. I wore it straight so I could get the position I had. I left after 9 months of chemically relaxing my hair. I went back to pressing my hair.

Now, I am loving my hair short. It was the best decision I ever made. I wear my hair with a relaxer in it because it is easier to manage this way but I am tempted to wear my hair naturally if I can get it shaped correctly. We will see.

Short Hair - July 2008

Feels great not to have that drama in my life anymore.

I only joined because a family friend was on there but I was reunited with people I had not been in touch with for years.

Guess what?

Still does not matter to me that people I knew are not in touch because they can go through the school networks to find me. Further, I am listed so they can find me there too if it is really that serious but I doubt it. I usually am not bothered too much which is great.

I am so over facebook!

Personally, I am distressed of *trying* to support many artists with me buying their work but now I am absolutely flustered and upset by the lack of professionalism I am currently experiencing.

I ordered a book from a personal web store and paid with paypal for the item. It has now been a month without the item I have ordered. I have emailed the individual twice without any answers to my inquiry.

I know what to do now because this is a reason why I use the particular credit card I have but because of this incident I will NOT buy from personal webstores unless you are affiliated with a third party to intervene such as amazon.com or overstock.com, etc.

At this point, I do not even want the item but my money.

First I had issue with not receiving a music album from a music artist who lied and was not finished with the CD he claimed to be done with. I had pre-ordered a CD thinking I would get it in a month but that month ended up being a year later (I was DUMB to wait that long but I honestly wanted to see if I would receive the product. I did but I have no intentions of supporting that musician again. Further the individual said they were a graduate of Morehouse which was not true either).

In the instant case, this particular author said their book was done and now I see that may not be a truth either. My issue is with the person handling the webstore and not the author BUT if it is the author handling the webstore I am very surprised at your actions.

This needs to stop.

I still refuse to *pre-order* items but for someone to say their item is available and I still have not received it makes me extremely irritated.

I was a *supporter* of independent artists but now this support is being tested to the point that I don't even want to reach out like I have been doing.

Hire competent people to handle your web stores! Or allow a competent vendor to sell your work.
 
If not, NO sale from me.

Despite my current woes, I have to give a special shout out to Taalam Acey and hip hop artist Renaissance for quickly sending out my purchased items. These are the ONLY 2 artists I ordered from directly and I received the item within 3 days. I even used regular mail. I appreciate their professionalism. All of the independent artists should learn from them!

Okay let me finally update....june was especially tumultous for me.

during beginning of june i found a 2nd part time job at pizza hut. but around june 10 i think i had to spend almost 800 or 900 on new cooling system pump, thermostat, coolant flush,fan, oil change....it basically wiped out  my account of what fin aid i had remaining from the spring semester....about 2 weeks later i develop another coolant leak in another part of my car but its not major if i keep tabs w/ fluids/temp...so about a week after that i discover i need  a new starter so i hacked out about 200 or 250 doing that. mind you i only have 2 bit minimum wage jobs (pizza hut/sandwich places)  i'm living pay check to pay check this month i was close to getting my lights/water cut off i was about a week late paying both..and still unable to pay rent in its entirely b/c of my limited income....my parents dont know the extent of how i'm struggling b/c they are financially not able to help me anyway and moreover w/ all the heart problems (difiblator, blood pressure, heart meds etc I dont want her worrying/stressing)...my  cabinets and fridge is hella bare

i had wished i had a legal job early on from the get go to have experience some people say i should volunteer but my bills dont allow me that freedom...and believe me i probably sent off  at least 25 to 35 resumes/cover letters off  to various firms this spring...i probably could of sent out more once school got out...but i guess i got a little deflated....okay about mid june i got a call from a lady lawyer asking if i still searching employment to call her back but for some dumb reason i waited to late to about 1.5 to 2 weeks to call her back. by the time she had already hired a clerk but she still wanted to hire me as a research assisstant....

so now i'm working on this med mal case she has.  basically the a 15 yo boy had sickle cell...went for gallbladder surgery afterwards he complained about one side being not movable.they didnt do nothing about it the next day he dies.....turns out there is a machine they could predict ones (w/ sickle cell) chances of having a stroke etc...doc claims this machine was not available...but the machine test is pretty common in general and not expensive....

about 2 weeks ago i left my car windows down during the rain and now 2 of them are down and cant go back up so now i'm all ghetto w/ trash bags and tape over them  lol b/c i cant afford to at the moment to get them fixed

today when i went to take some sources to lady lawyer (the other dude lawyer who referred me to her) wanted to talk to me (they share the same building)   both of them was taken aback that i work at those type of places and not at a legal place and stresssed the importance of needing legal experience..i told him i tried and if not for the fact i had bills they need to be paid i would have gladly volunteered but that was not an option...so he asks me how many hours i work at those two places i tell him about 26 to 30....he asked me the pay rates....then he said he would like for me to work there and quit those places and pay me 8 an hour (more then either pay rates) but he said he would have to talk to his wife first about it so *crosses fingers and toes*

hmmm what else i'm excited about going home this weekend for the family reunion...i havent been home since mothers day its killing me dont get me wrong i dont home like that anyway but its just rough this summer to go thru this alone i have never been this low as i had been this summer and my family is my support/motivation...this is first summer i've not been at home....i have a lot to be grateful for...even tho they cant be there financially for me they always have my back in love/encourage/prayers...

2morrow i'm getting my hair done and i have a appt w/ dss regarding my application for food stamps( i dont have kids or anything if ur wondering but i'll be grateful for anything and my fridge/cabinets would be too)...i wonder if i should apply for medicaid since i'm on a roll here (lol) since i really dont have insurance (wish i did so i could get my wisdom teeth removed but thats neither here nor there).

well i've ranted on entierely too long but i had almost 2 months to cover forgive me :)....well until later! take care..be blessed...tip